Hope

Carry the hope till the day you die, and continue hoping, and one day, I would not cease to be, for that is the hope I carry, as I continue to wait for Him.

Meal

The Leader spark is reliant on several factors, and no amount of training will create that spark. One must understand the system of processes and the system of human interactions. Then again, there is the HEP - Human-earth-people factor.

Looking around

Every time it's evening again, I look at my life of twenty-nine years and wonder what achievements have I made. I look at my body with its degenerate front, the decadence showing all too obviously in my gut. I hate it. I hate to juggle the finances, the physical, the mental. It's too much.

Alien

For all that I know, it could have been an alien tongue altogether. I may know the language, but I have yet to grasp the intricacies of the Western culture. It is the user, not the language per se that makes up the language. It is the verbal sparring that makes the Western western. And I have no practice at that sort of thing, living here in Singapore. Singapore is a place with aloof service staff, pared down to the merely functional and said for the sake of business, and nothing else. There is no aesthetic.

But over there, it takes ingenuity to keep up with the conversational pinball, that it tests my limits and revamps my conventional ideas of socializing. Banter requires skill, pronunciation requires skill and effort, and I am utterly defeated. Here, the impassive bears out its advantages. I am laconic, born and made. The silence is welcoming.