Alejandro

It complicates my trajectory of life, this affair, as I shuttle between joy and despair. It's not who I am, it's not who I will be, but that quagmire of confusion that muddles my mind in that obtuse manner of thinking and speaking. The voice in my mind grows louder, as I lock myself in that corner. I am no longer coherent. I am Alejandro, calling for my name which is an illusionary label, like that which we call love.

The Carnival is Dead

The carnival holds no allure, its loud music and sweaty bodies a pale reflection of what it used to be, a hedonistic site reeking of pleasure which now, is lost to the recesses of the mind. Fun is illusionary. The company is sheer disappointment, unnecessary pressure on my Mustang self. I detest the chains of guilt and duty and that will be the last place that I imagined to be exacted on me. And that will be the last time I ever visit the Carnival.

Nadir

No amount of happiness could compensate for the sorrow I feel in this life, as I push myself deeper and deeper into the abyss. Will I bounce from my nadir, I wonder, whether one day, I would cease to bounce at all, and remain at the pits of my misery.

I wonder why would people want to go on living at all, when life is such a misery. People keep on asking why I want to die. I ask them why they would want to keep on living.

I have been living on borrowed time, since I was 15.